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My Story

My story is not so different that many other people's that have decided to make a change in their life.

I grew up in a normal family, mom, dad and brother. I went to highschool and did not date much. At that point, I was not fat...I just wasn't a size 0 or 2 like a lot of the other girls at school. I wasn't a cheerleader...I wasn't popular. I was the "smart" one. I graduated in the top 10% of my class and attended two years at the university before getting married (I did start dating after I graduated high school).

Not too long after that, I had three wonderful amazing boys. And after each pregnancy, I packed on a little more weight. I tried to lose the weight...and did. But I was just yo-yo-ing. I was doing it for the wrong reasons. I was doing it to please someone else. Because of other issues in my life at that time, I didn't beleive in myself. I didn't think I was worth it. This went on for many years. Until one day later, after 19 years, my marriage was over. Kaput!

I won't go into all the details of why. I will just say, it really left me with a sense of insecurity and a feeling of worthlessness.

I did find love again. My husband has and does tell me EVERYDAY that I am beautiful and how much he loves me. But still, I struggled with the emotions stemming from the past 20 years. I became depressed, and honestly felt that I was hanging on by a thread. It is such a horrible feeling. I was gaining even more weight since I got married.

The weight gain didn't bother me, because it didn't bother my husband. I started wearing dresses all the time. That way, no one could really tell how big I was. I started looking a little frumpy...no makeup, hair always pulled up in a pony tail...and (I'm a little embarrased to admit it), I stopped shaving my legs, unless there was a reason to.

I was a mess....but I didn't care. I think that's really it...I JUST DIDN'T CARE. I didn't care about me, I didn't care about the kids, I didn't really care about anything.

Moving on....my husband and I bought a house and I got a job. After not working full time for 10 years, this was a big change for me. The job, itself, gave me a sense of confidence and self-importance. My weight by this time was a soaring 205 lbs, but I didn't know it. I was wearing a size 16/18 and it was tight...but there was no way I was going up to a bigger size. My mother in law bought me some clothes for Christmas 2009, and I was shocked to see the size in one of the blouses said 3X. Did I really look like I was a 3X?

When our office staff went to give blood in February 2010, I was told that I didn't meet the guidelines because my blood pressure was too high. Way too high. I went back to the office and over the course of the next few days, continued to monitor my blood pressure. Still high...high enough for my husband to make me get a doctor's appointment. He said "Do it...I don't want to have to put you in a pine box".

The doctor ran many, many, different test to rule out any other reasons for the high blood pressure. And after all was said and done...it was mostly due to my weight. My weight of 205 lbs on a 5'2" frame. My weight was killing me..literally. I was put on medication that I would have to take for the rest of my life unless I did something to improve my lifestyle.

That was the "light bulb" moment. Wow...I did care. I cared about me, I cared about my kids....I cared about living my life!

I became a woman of determination. I decided then and there, I would lead a more healthy lifestyle by changing my eating, by exercising and losing weight.

After 30 pounds were shed, at the beginning of June, 2010...I was officially off my meds!

Now, wearing a slim 10/12, I currently weigh 157, with a goal weight of 125. I look at life with a more positive and confident attitude. I have learned so much about me, my insecurities and the emotions that were keeping me hostage for all these years.

It is great to be able to say that I love myself...even with all my imperfections.