Crawling out of my hole

The past few days have been difficult. I don't mean difficult as in sticking to my eating plan or feeling like I'm falling off the wagon.

Life in general seemed, all of a sudden, to be closing in on me. I felt like I was being pulled in so many directions that I was feeling overwhelmed and completely not in control. The more I thought about it, the more I felt like I was sinking in a hole desperately trying to claw my way to the top. Have you ever felt like that?

It's horrifying...at least it is for me. Because, that is the old me. The me, that was in counseling for depression. The me that just wanted to run away from everything because I felt that I couldn't get it together...I couldn't deal with anything. It was bad. Self-pity and fear was my prison.

Yesterday, I felt that I was at my lowest. With 3 kids of my own and 3 step kids, ex wife, ex huband, full time job, housework, bill paying, laundry...you get the picture....there is ALWAYS something I have to deal with. Sometimes, I wish I had a remote control and could just put everything on PAUSE, just long enough to breathe and think clearly. But that is not always possible.

I had not felt like exercising...period. I told myself excuses of why I can't exercise. I hate excuses! It's too hot outside; it's too hot inside; I don't feel like it; I don't want to put on my workout clothes, etc. etc. etc.

My husband works at night, so it was just me and the four kids (oldest two are pretty much grown and have moved out). I came home from work, cooked dinner, then cleaned up the kitchen. I was still pretty much in my crappy mood. I read my book for 1/2 hour, then put on my workout clothes and worked out doing cardio and weights for 1 1/2 hours.

Wow! After I was done, I felt so much better. Working hard and going at it helped me release all the emotions I had been feeling. Concentrating on something that I could control made me feel 10 times better...emotionally stronger and more equipped to deal with "stuff" I deal with, sometimes on a daily basis.

I felt that I had climbed out of the hole that I was sinking into. Not only did I climb out, but I was able to jump away from that hole.

Exercise is not only beneficial for your physical health, I believe it is essential for your mental health as well. I wish that when I was in such a bad state of mind last year that someone would have suggested or encouraged me to exercise more just for that reason.

So, when you are feeling down and you don't feel like moving your butt off the couch or out of the bed, that is when you need to the most.